7 ways being a stay-at-home-mom is the same as an “office job”

June 19, 2017

I never thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom but here I am! I recently replaced my grown-up co-workers with 2 dirty, snotty-nosed midgets that I created! The challenges are the same as the working world, but now have a new spin!

Here are 7 ways a stay-at-home-mom is the same as working a 9-5 “office job”:

  1. Dress Code
    At the office I wore business casual: nice jeans or skirt and a casual, modest top. As a SAHM if your wearing ANYTHING you’re having a good day! Bonus points if it doesn’t have puke or breastmilk on it and the outfit coordinates. My midget coworkers often run around naked half the time and you’re not bothered by it. If your office coworkers came to the office nude, HR would have a field day!
  2. Deadlines
    At the office my co-workers and clients piled up the deadlines. Occasionally I could negotiate prjoject extensions. As a SAHM deadlines are always “now” or “yesterday” and are non-negotiable: “I’m hungry mommee!” “I go pee mamma!” “Crackers pleeze mommee!”
  3. Work Hours
    At the office I clocked-out after my 8 hours and had evenings and weekends free. As a SAHM I’m working and on-call 24-7-365. Even if I manage to sit on the couch with a coffee while the kids play, I’m still watching, monitoring, and guessing which toy will “stop working” and cause the tantrum meltdown!  Even at night, tucked in my warm bed I always hear babies crying (even when they’re not) and the pitter-patter of toddler feet that have escaped from their beds.
  4. Resolution Management
    At the office it was mostly democratic. We listened, negotiated, and compromised on workplace issues. As a SAHM I am a dictator! When your kids are still young there isn’t much room for negotiating. You know what’s best so often timeouts and punishments must be enforced (if only I could have put my coworkers in “time-out” once and a while! LOL!)
  5. Employee recognition
    At the office I got get raises and promotions for doing a good job and going above and beyond the call of duty. Not as a SAHM!  The more you give and go above and beyond, the more those midgets expect and get angry when you don’t deliver! As a SAHM, I’ve had a good day if everyone is still alive by midnight!
  6. Vacation time
    At the office it was easy to leave your work behind when going on vacation: turn off the company phone and avoid checking work emails. As a SAHM, you are always connected to your “job.” MY midgets still demand to be fed and entertained, even on family vacations. So really, SAHMs don’t get around “unplug” and go on vacation!
  7. Benefits package
    At the office you get your medical, dental, and a company car as part of your contract. SAHMs benefits package includes medical (aka: visits for every cough, sneeze, and bloody toe), dental (when you’re soothing a baby who’s teeth are ripping through their gums) and a company car (or aka “the minivan”.

I can easily draw parallels between my past professional life and my job now as a stay-at-home-mom. However the SAHM gig has one benefit I didn’t get in the office: my SAHM salary can’t be beat: I’m paid in kisses and snuggles!

 

 

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