I’m a mother of 2 happy, healthy children. Why then do I keep questioning myself?
Why do I question whether or not to pee? The human body needs to relieve itself of all your bodily waste products. You can’t avoid it. Why then do I worry about the kids screaming in the living room for a couple mins so I can relieve myself?
Why do I question if my kids are eating healthy enough? According to their doctor, they’re perfectly healthy kids. They’re (generally) happy and energetic kids. Yes, my oldest loves peppers and would eat them all day if I let him, but he also eats a lot of junk food too! He’s gaining healthy weight and height at every doc appointment so why do I feel bad about giving him pretzels for snack time?
Why do I question if I’m socializing him enough? He’s happy being at home with me. He loves going to play gyms and kids classes too. I hear the other moms say they register their kids in swimming, daycare, gymnastics, and other activities before they’re 2 but I only occasionally take my kids to the drop-in programs. I question if that means he’ll be behind the curve when he gets to Kindergarten?
Why do I question if he gets enough sleep? On a good week I’ll only google “how much sleep does my [insert age here] need” 3 or 4 times. He wakes up rested (except after naps) and doesn’t have dark bags under his eyes (like his mother). So why do I always question his sleep habits?
Why do I question whether I want to take the chance of “me” time? On the rare occasions that I run an errand or take a bath childless why do I fear returning to kids screaming for their mommy? I always hear them crying for me, even when they’re not in earshot. I know it’s important to “secure my own air mask before assisting others” but I feel bad leaving them with someone else and fear all hell will break loose when I do!
Why do I feel bad about not having dinner ready at a reasonable hour? Despite my best efforts it’s often hard to have dinner ready when Daddy comes home. If it’s not ready at 6:00, it cuts into the short evening family time we have before we start bedtime routines.
Why do I feel bad that the laundry is never done? A baby, cloth diapering (we wash our own), a potty training son, a dog, and 2 adults make a surprisingly huge pile of laundry! It’s all either in a huge laundry bin labeled dirty or clean. I don’t put away clothes in closets or drawers anymore. I just pick from the unfolded “clean” pile (assuming the kids haven’t taken the pile and strewn it around the house).
I want to be supermom and do it all but some days I’m just so overwhelmed I want to quit! I just need to remind myself that I don’t need to do everything. My family is happy and healthy. I may be living on caffeine and sweets now but that’s ok cause one day the kids will be in school and I can start to regain my independence again!